Monday, February 1, 2010
♥ Darkfallen
I dream. Or is it real? What is a dream, and what is reality?
The answer is something I used to know, but no longer.
I remember running. My legs were burning, searing the bones and melt the muscle, my feet pounding one after another in the powdery snow. With each step, more of the crystals flew in my face, fell about my robed body, and left a trail behind me. But I kept running.
I wasn't the only one. Others were beside me, behind me, and in front of me. They kicked up snow in my eyes, but my fear drove me forward. All of us were driven forward by our fear. Our fear of what?
Something appeared on the side of our herd. It ran on all fours, groping the ground and shoving its mess of a body forward. The smell of bones and rotting flesh hit my nose as this creature pounced one of us beside me. He screamed, fell and was lost behind us. Soon, another one of us was taken. And then another, and another..
I didn't see it coming. Fingers curled around my ankles and yanked my body back. I fell forward, my face smashing into a pile of snow and scattering it. Pain rocketed through my body. Looking back, I saw the creature. The face was entirely wrapped, except for its mouth, a simple circle with rows of teeth and slender tongue licking around its mouth.
The creature turned as soon as I had seen its face. It pulled my legs over its shoulders and walked hunched over back from where I had come. I clawed at the snow, desperate for anything to help my obtain my freedom. There was only snow.
I felt my legs soon drop, a poof of snow flying about and soon settling. I had no time to turn. There came a sharp pain, stabbing into my chest from behind and puncturing through. I cried, screaming for relief, my eyes tightly shut. The scream didn't last long. Warm blood bubbled up into my mouth, and I coughed, spitting and painting the snow with red. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't scream. The blood fountain didn't stop, filling my lungs and suffocating me.
Everything went black.
The answer is something I used to know, but no longer.
I remember running. My legs were burning, searing the bones and melt the muscle, my feet pounding one after another in the powdery snow. With each step, more of the crystals flew in my face, fell about my robed body, and left a trail behind me. But I kept running.
I wasn't the only one. Others were beside me, behind me, and in front of me. They kicked up snow in my eyes, but my fear drove me forward. All of us were driven forward by our fear. Our fear of what?
Something appeared on the side of our herd. It ran on all fours, groping the ground and shoving its mess of a body forward. The smell of bones and rotting flesh hit my nose as this creature pounced one of us beside me. He screamed, fell and was lost behind us. Soon, another one of us was taken. And then another, and another..
I didn't see it coming. Fingers curled around my ankles and yanked my body back. I fell forward, my face smashing into a pile of snow and scattering it. Pain rocketed through my body. Looking back, I saw the creature. The face was entirely wrapped, except for its mouth, a simple circle with rows of teeth and slender tongue licking around its mouth.
The creature turned as soon as I had seen its face. It pulled my legs over its shoulders and walked hunched over back from where I had come. I clawed at the snow, desperate for anything to help my obtain my freedom. There was only snow.
I felt my legs soon drop, a poof of snow flying about and soon settling. I had no time to turn. There came a sharp pain, stabbing into my chest from behind and puncturing through. I cried, screaming for relief, my eyes tightly shut. The scream didn't last long. Warm blood bubbled up into my mouth, and I coughed, spitting and painting the snow with red. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't scream. The blood fountain didn't stop, filling my lungs and suffocating me.
Everything went black.
♥ My
doll smiled.
10:13 PM
0 commented
10:13 PM
0 commented
Saturday, January 23, 2010
♥ Retracing the footsteps
Such a long journey it's been. I've tread far and swiftly in the past year. I cannot begin to recall all of it, all of the changes.
I've finished scanning all of my past posts. I'm no longer what I once was. Call me robotic. Call me emotionless. I don't care. For my emotions are under my control, and I have a life. Not the life that was once existant in the past, but an entirely new one.
My first year of college was a flunk. But scanning over those old posts, I realized I had a lot more on my plate than school. But I've started over, and this year goes well.
My depression is very well managed. Mood swings are uncommon and little.
My love life.. a strange journey of heartbreak and love.
I wish not to mention the past of my love life, only the present. I'm owned. I'm collared. This is only what matters right now. My lover is my Master now. Not just a companion but a leader. I follow, an obedient cat (Tis how I describe myself). I do hope for the best in this relationship. I want it to work.
I've finished scanning all of my past posts. I'm no longer what I once was. Call me robotic. Call me emotionless. I don't care. For my emotions are under my control, and I have a life. Not the life that was once existant in the past, but an entirely new one.
My first year of college was a flunk. But scanning over those old posts, I realized I had a lot more on my plate than school. But I've started over, and this year goes well.
My depression is very well managed. Mood swings are uncommon and little.
My love life.. a strange journey of heartbreak and love.
I wish not to mention the past of my love life, only the present. I'm owned. I'm collared. This is only what matters right now. My lover is my Master now. Not just a companion but a leader. I follow, an obedient cat (Tis how I describe myself). I do hope for the best in this relationship. I want it to work.
♥ My
doll smiled.
10:39 PM
0 commented
10:39 PM
0 commented
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
♥ Calpricos: Great Secrets
You are mine. You will forever serve me in undeath..
Cathina Alej, will you marry me?
You've been deceiving me, Calpricos. What are you hiding?
It's been a long road for me. My past is nothing to sniff at, and nor is my present or future. There are things about me that even I don't understand or know. I died, I came back. Cathina, my love, and I found a cure to my problem. The Aldor fixed my runeblade, and discovered its name. The Frozen Heart. Utharren, a blood knight paladin, engulfed me in holy light and I became alive. I felt alive. I wasn't dead anymore.
But what is this faint voice still in my head, the one that both I and my blade both scoff out and give the finger?
And my eyes changed not long after the resurrection. They didn't glow anymore, but the irises were like sapphires, shining with all different hues of blue, and my pupils became narrow, vertical slits. My vision vastly improved. But why did they change, what was the cause?
My temper has taken a turn. I've become sick of people spitting at my feet, telling me to leave this place and die. I've had enough of them. Great power fills me when I want to fight.
And even one time..
I gained two additional limbs, stood on all fours, and was gifted with flight. My skin became blue scales and my hands and feet grew into claws. Horns grew out of my head, a mane of gold striped down my neck. I had a tail, spiked and dangerous.
I have a big secret to keep.
Cathina Alej, will you marry me?
You've been deceiving me, Calpricos. What are you hiding?
It's been a long road for me. My past is nothing to sniff at, and nor is my present or future. There are things about me that even I don't understand or know. I died, I came back. Cathina, my love, and I found a cure to my problem. The Aldor fixed my runeblade, and discovered its name. The Frozen Heart. Utharren, a blood knight paladin, engulfed me in holy light and I became alive. I felt alive. I wasn't dead anymore.
But what is this faint voice still in my head, the one that both I and my blade both scoff out and give the finger?
And my eyes changed not long after the resurrection. They didn't glow anymore, but the irises were like sapphires, shining with all different hues of blue, and my pupils became narrow, vertical slits. My vision vastly improved. But why did they change, what was the cause?
My temper has taken a turn. I've become sick of people spitting at my feet, telling me to leave this place and die. I've had enough of them. Great power fills me when I want to fight.
And even one time..
I gained two additional limbs, stood on all fours, and was gifted with flight. My skin became blue scales and my hands and feet grew into claws. Horns grew out of my head, a mane of gold striped down my neck. I had a tail, spiked and dangerous.
I have a big secret to keep.
♥ My
doll smiled.
9:08 AM
1 commented
9:08 AM
1 commented
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
♥ Vivyan - The Fallen Priest
No one was expecting the attack on our beloved homeland. We were safe behind our secure gates, our fields of magic, our strong holds of Blood Knights.
We never thought that we would be greeted by death.
My name is Vivyan. I have a story.
There are many like me. We all have something similar. We live. We die. We serve in undead.
But there's a difference between me.. and all the others. In my struggles, a fallen Blood Knight and I made it together through the darkness to witness the dawn.
This is my story. Our story..
We never thought that we would be greeted by death.
My name is Vivyan. I have a story.
There are many like me. We all have something similar. We live. We die. We serve in undead.
But there's a difference between me.. and all the others. In my struggles, a fallen Blood Knight and I made it together through the darkness to witness the dawn.
This is my story. Our story..
♥ My
doll smiled.
9:25 PM
0 commented
9:25 PM
0 commented
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
♥ Alrighty..
I know I've ignored this for some time.
This is probably be used now for random writing sections. I have lots of plot lines from roleplaying in WoW that need to be written down somewhere..
This is probably be used now for random writing sections. I have lots of plot lines from roleplaying in WoW that need to be written down somewhere..
♥ My
doll smiled.
10:07 PM
0 commented
10:07 PM
0 commented
Monday, November 3, 2008
♥ A Life so Changed
I wanna hurt something. I wanna take some unfortunate glass object and throw it out in the middle of the street into busy traffic to watch the shards come flying and zoom across the pavement. In short, I'm pissed. I'm fucking pissed. Mostly at myself.
It began like a normal day. I rise, I decide to go to my 9am class. I go, thinking it would be an okay day. I did some of my work, some of the problems are done.
And what does the professor do?
He calls on me to say the solutions to the problems I happened to either not understand or not do. So, I sit there, looking like an idiot not knowing what to say or do, and I get my ass kicked for it. My grade for the day sucks.
Mostly, I'm angry at myself for that one.
I text my friends a picture of my new boyfriend.
Yay! I'm not single. He's cute, he's smart, and he just seems so perfect, aside from the fact that he lives in Mississippi. But.. I get a reply back.
To make my mood worse, I get talked to about why I put myself in positions that I am more likely to be hurt. I get lectured about choosing the wrong people, it feels like.
That increased my anger. I couldn't focus in my next class, practically shaking with anger.
I survive through my next two class periods.
I return to my dorm room and sign onto Ventrillo, the program I use to talk to people over the internet. I then I find that my microphone is broken.
I wanna throw it across the room and scream. But my roommate is here.
So I order a new one right away.
I then decide to send an email to my father. He is more understanding than my mother, and appears to be more willing to accept what I think. He's protective, but allows me to be free.
I tell him I have a new boyfriend that I met over OKCupid.com.
Why does he say?
"And?"
That pissed me off further. It's as if it doesn't even matter an ounce. I want to call him and shout at him over the phone, but I know yelling doesn't help.
So, I write here instead. It's the middle of the day. And I am a bomb ready to explode.
I want Allen here. I want to feel his arms around me and his breath on my neck, telling me that I'll be okay.
But, alas, he's 700 miles away.
This is why I told Dad in the first place. He has frequent flyer miles hopefully he'll let me use.
I hope.. with a reaction like that..
Fuckity, fuck fuck..
FUCK! FUCK ALL THIS BULLSHIT!
I HATE it!
I fucking HATE IT!
God dammit!! FUCKING SHITHOLE CUNT..
Oh, Jesus.. I feel better..
If only I could have screamed that aloud..
It began like a normal day. I rise, I decide to go to my 9am class. I go, thinking it would be an okay day. I did some of my work, some of the problems are done.
And what does the professor do?
He calls on me to say the solutions to the problems I happened to either not understand or not do. So, I sit there, looking like an idiot not knowing what to say or do, and I get my ass kicked for it. My grade for the day sucks.
Mostly, I'm angry at myself for that one.
I text my friends a picture of my new boyfriend.
Yay! I'm not single. He's cute, he's smart, and he just seems so perfect, aside from the fact that he lives in Mississippi. But.. I get a reply back.
To make my mood worse, I get talked to about why I put myself in positions that I am more likely to be hurt. I get lectured about choosing the wrong people, it feels like.
That increased my anger. I couldn't focus in my next class, practically shaking with anger.
I survive through my next two class periods.
I return to my dorm room and sign onto Ventrillo, the program I use to talk to people over the internet. I then I find that my microphone is broken.
I wanna throw it across the room and scream. But my roommate is here.
So I order a new one right away.
I then decide to send an email to my father. He is more understanding than my mother, and appears to be more willing to accept what I think. He's protective, but allows me to be free.
I tell him I have a new boyfriend that I met over OKCupid.com.
Why does he say?
"And?"
That pissed me off further. It's as if it doesn't even matter an ounce. I want to call him and shout at him over the phone, but I know yelling doesn't help.
So, I write here instead. It's the middle of the day. And I am a bomb ready to explode.
I want Allen here. I want to feel his arms around me and his breath on my neck, telling me that I'll be okay.
But, alas, he's 700 miles away.
This is why I told Dad in the first place. He has frequent flyer miles hopefully he'll let me use.
I hope.. with a reaction like that..
Fuckity, fuck fuck..
FUCK! FUCK ALL THIS BULLSHIT!
I HATE it!
I fucking HATE IT!
God dammit!! FUCKING SHITHOLE CUNT..
Oh, Jesus.. I feel better..
If only I could have screamed that aloud..
♥ My
doll smiled.
10:42 AM
1 commented
10:42 AM
1 commented
Monday, October 27, 2008
♥ New Year's Day
So, I'm letting going. The last post was my last cry. My last bit of insanity before I captured it in a web that I spun just to snag it.
And I have it back. I am no longer struggling so much over someone I cannot have. I'm slowly letting myself go, cutting the deep bond but leaving the surface connection.
I see Ron now simply as a man that pulled me to my feet when I was down in the dust, and one that potential may save me from future downers. And I him.
I'm on the desperate search for avaliable single with zero miles of me.
Yep, within this town of Ames.
Already, there have been a few matches. My first choice has yet to respond. So.. out with the hope for him. I discovered another whom has caught my interest. He's pretty cute, but nothing that I would faint at to be brutally honest.
But he seems to understand.
Right off the bat, to test him.. I spill to him my blood secret.
He seems to not mind that I drink blood.
In turn, he's told me a few secrets. And already, it appears we are forging a bond.
Only the future can tell. There are many more out there.
Ron, I won't ever.. EVER forget about you..
You've done wonders for me. I know I've told you this, but without you.. I'd probably be dead.
And I have it back. I am no longer struggling so much over someone I cannot have. I'm slowly letting myself go, cutting the deep bond but leaving the surface connection.
I see Ron now simply as a man that pulled me to my feet when I was down in the dust, and one that potential may save me from future downers. And I him.
I'm on the desperate search for avaliable single with zero miles of me.
Yep, within this town of Ames.
Already, there have been a few matches. My first choice has yet to respond. So.. out with the hope for him. I discovered another whom has caught my interest. He's pretty cute, but nothing that I would faint at to be brutally honest.
But he seems to understand.
Right off the bat, to test him.. I spill to him my blood secret.
He seems to not mind that I drink blood.
In turn, he's told me a few secrets. And already, it appears we are forging a bond.
Only the future can tell. There are many more out there.
Ron, I won't ever.. EVER forget about you..
You've done wonders for me. I know I've told you this, but without you.. I'd probably be dead.
♥ My
doll smiled.
8:25 PM
0 commented
8:25 PM
0 commented