Wednesday, October 1, 2008
♥ 24
It is deep.
He hasn't missed a night in at least a week and a half.
And he's not here yet. I fear the worst.
And my heart aches.
Yes, my physical being hurts. Not my mental, my physical, because something's wrong, something's out of wack. I miss him WAY too much. I can only hope he's being delayed by something positive, and not negative like weeks ago.
My mental mind is stable. I feel more at ease than if I had not started the meds. If I was off meds right now, I'd be simply sitting here, staring off into space, waiting, soon to explode on the unwilling and unsuspecting guildie wondering why the fuck I'm so angry.
But I'm just sad. That's it. Not depressed, not so low that I want to do things unimaginable, but just that. Sad. You know, the normal depressed things.
A friend of mine is in the same position I'm in. Only her older love is single.
She's with him tonight. And maybe that's another reason it hurts. As I write, they may be making love.
I know, I know, sex isn't everything.. but it's a hell of a lot.
So, I sit here and wait. I wait and contemplate the demise of a guildie I dispise.. and that just briefly hit on me. Something about a bedroom.
Bitch.
He hasn't missed a night in at least a week and a half.
And he's not here yet. I fear the worst.
And my heart aches.
Yes, my physical being hurts. Not my mental, my physical, because something's wrong, something's out of wack. I miss him WAY too much. I can only hope he's being delayed by something positive, and not negative like weeks ago.
My mental mind is stable. I feel more at ease than if I had not started the meds. If I was off meds right now, I'd be simply sitting here, staring off into space, waiting, soon to explode on the unwilling and unsuspecting guildie wondering why the fuck I'm so angry.
But I'm just sad. That's it. Not depressed, not so low that I want to do things unimaginable, but just that. Sad. You know, the normal depressed things.
A friend of mine is in the same position I'm in. Only her older love is single.
She's with him tonight. And maybe that's another reason it hurts. As I write, they may be making love.
I know, I know, sex isn't everything.. but it's a hell of a lot.
So, I sit here and wait. I wait and contemplate the demise of a guildie I dispise.. and that just briefly hit on me. Something about a bedroom.
Bitch.
♥ My
doll smiled.
8:30 PM
0 commented
8:30 PM
0 commented